About 2 Months Ago I Started Taking Effexor 75mg 1/day.

About 2 months ago i started taking Effexor 75mg 1/day. I felt the effects immediately. I felt energized and my body felt like it was being shocked. I felt unlike i ever had before and there is little that i have experienced that i can compare the effects to. It felt like a magic drug. Effexor really only seemed to exaggerate the feelings i already had. About 2-3 weeks into being on effexor i started practicing much more risky behavior than i ever had before. I was stealing things and just being very risky. That drug made me someone completely different .It made me manic constantly and when i would have depressive episodes, they would be worse than they ever were before effexor. About a month into being on effexor i started experiencing twitching in my neck that landed me in the hospital for 4 days. They took me off Effexor cold turkey. Im currently in a worse state than i have ever been in. Ever since stopping effexor i have all sorts of side effects that interfere with my daily functioning. Also, this drug destroyed my memory and attention span. I'm 17 years old and it caused my school performance to drop dramatically. The biggest problem however that I have been facing since stopping this drug is the constant desire to die. All i have been thinking about for the last couple weeks is dying. Prior to effexor, i never had these thoughts and still to this day, i dont want to die. Thats why im making this post here. It's as if some part of my brain is trying to justify to me why dying is the best thing to happen to me. I love my family and friends and i cant ever hurt them like that. I'm afraid that one day i wont be in the right state of mind and i might go through with it. i need help. What can make these thoughts go away? Will these effects ever stop? Is there another drug that i should talk to my doctor about? please help me.





symptoms:
disturbing reoccurring suicidal thoughts
intense itching
loss of memory
substantial decrease in performance
Very little attention span
weight gain
Sense of impending doom
anxiety
anger

current prescription:
0.5 klonopin 1/day