Basically The Question I'm Asking... If You're Actually There, Is

Basically the question I'm asking... If you're actually there, is I think I may have massive anxiety. Just to put this in perspective, I lived with my father, an extremely physically, emotionally and spiritually abusive individual for 17 years. I'm twenty now. What I mean by spiritually abusive, was that he used the Bible to outright judge a persons soul, as of given the God ordained right by the guy upstairs himself. I bite the inside of my lips addictively, I've tried to quit over the years, simply ignoring it when I fail. I can almost never stop moving, I always have racing thoughts, and haven't slept through a night without waking up every hour in over 8 years. This is due to night-terrors that wake me up, and stay with me through my waking hours like a ghost in the back of my mind. Usually, of my father being abusive. I don't care about him anymore, but also know I have a plethora of suppressed emotions and memories I had to hide over the years. I do not have flashbacks, and I cannot cry. I constantly feel empty, or numb, emotionally. I do experience normal emotion, but when it comes to pain, I just shut down. Physically, pain doesn't bother, just means my body is working the way it's supposed to, but emotionally, the only time I've been able to cry in the last 10 years was under 2 conditions, losing a family member, and losing my fiancé. After which I both immediately went to sleep for, seeing as how my waking thoughts were incredibly irrational and overbearing. Upon waking up, emotionally I am GONE. Please keep in mind this is how I feel anytime I feel loss of any significant value, as if every pain I've suppressed or been unable to express due to this numbness, is only felt during right before sleep, or only after the greatest of losses. When I do feel it all... I literally want to die. I forget to eat if left to myself, not even registering if I'm hungry. I could go on, in furthering detail about this, but I think I've left enough here... If any of this sounds familiar... Please send me an answer.