Ever Since I Was Younger I Knew Was ... Different.

Ever since I was younger I knew was ... different. I always questioned life. E.x. "Why can I only see out of my eyes?" I thought that everyone around me was fake because I didn't know what was happening when I was there. I feel like everything is on pause or non existing when I'm not there. I don't know, Anyway, now and days my questions on life have become more complex. Also, I think violent often, and when I do think violent... I smile. It relaxes me. Its like, a pain reliever. If the teacher yells at me at class and I get irritated..ill think of me shoving my fist down her slippery esophagus and pulling out whatever I grab onto. I want to do so many things, and live my life doing bad things but I care for certain people in life who I can't leave just yet. Plus i use people alot for my own benefit. Everyone has a role. Both of my parents have mental issues. My dad is a diagnosed sociopath with psychopathic tendencies, though I never met him. My mom is just a mess bc of her past.