Hello. My Name Is Kiva. I Am 24 Years Old,

Hello. My name is Kiva. I am 24 years old, female, and I'm currently struggling a lot.
I have had a lot of issues in my life that I could sit and explain for hours on end and never be done with it. I will do my best to summarize.
I grew up not knowing my father, and my mother would treat me more like a maid or pet at times. During this, I was alone very often, and might have created my own friends out of stuffed animals. When she got married, her new husband molested me from age 7-8 to around 12-13?
During that time, and also before it, I would have things that I considered my imagination at the time, but now I consider them more of a past life. However I become conflicted between it being a coping mechanism or wether or not it is something I believe in almost religiously.
These thoughts I have had since before the molestation, have affected me a lot. To the point where I feel as if I am not mentally capable of easy things. Along with considering my own existence at times. I refer to myself as "not a real person" and constantly feel as if I don't fit in.
I have bouts of severe anxiety when overwhelmed, even if it's small things. Paired with bad habits that harm myself physically.
I have a sort of "ptsd" which is the best way I can describe it. Where I come across something I find nostalgic, or have what I refer to as a "moment" and mentally relapse somewhat into the "past life" I feel I've had. There are also "moments" that include physical pains, shaking, breathing issues, and intense flashbacks. These flashbacks however have never actually happened, and although may seem very realistic, it only adds to the confusion on who I am and why I am here and wether or not "I" am even the person I was supposed to be.
As in, part of me feels as if I wasn't supposed to exist and that I am pretty much living someone else's life.

This is a very short summary of the base of one side of my issues.
I have an entire other side consiting of what I refer to as "realistic" and "normal" issues.
Between basic anxieties like speaking out when being scolded, awnsering phones, social anxiety and having sleeping issues.

Any advice or consultations would be great on this. I'm starting to feel as if I'm not cut out for even the simplest things and I have a whole life ahead of me that I have dreams and goals for.