Hello I Have Been Feeling Really Weird The Last 9

Hello i have been feeling really weird the last 9 months it all started at my old school i wasnt myself bc everyone criticized me i used to be a very positive person but now im really negative i never really cared about the way i looked until a guy told me that i was ugly and je wasnt even kidding people kept telling me what to do and i felt like i couldnt be myself with anyone i didnt know how i really was i forgot what my real character was and i forgot the real me and i didnt know if i was faking my personality or if i was for real and i had suicidal thoughts i felt dumb,worthless,ugly,... i alway overreacted when i had a fight or if someone said that i was "different" i felt like i dissapointerd everyone and then i started self harming it all started in march and i started self harming in august i was sad almost everyday it was mostly nc of my friends then i changed school i felt happy the first month and then everything just came back again the emotions that i felt idk why bc i had amazing friends that accepted me but sometimes i thought that they hated me and that i annoyed them im a person who changes their personality so that people like me i dont want people to hate me and i used to be so social im social sometimed but depends when when im around with my friends i feel social and sometimes i just dont i sometimes dont go to activities and if i have to be social in some way i never do it and im 14 if someone would ask me to come to a party i'll probably say no bc i would be way to anxious and i saw an old friend of mine and we were alway really good friends i saw her at the store and i ran away and kept hiding bc i didnt want her to see me this way i didnt want her to see my ugly face and whenever people look at me i feel like their telling their friends or themselves that im ugly as hell ive been feeling anxious and depressed for a long time but then i actually tried my best to be happy and it worked i sometimes have ups and downs and its mostly bc of the way i look but i tried too be happy and it does work sometimes but at some point i know that i will have a break down and everything will be ruined i havrnt self harmed in 2 months and ive been feeling more happy lately for about month but im mostly anxious when i realized that i eas becoming sad i tried to do these depression and anxiety quiz thing and i always scored really high but i couldnt believe it bc its not always right i talked to these peopke who help kids if their sad and they told me to see a doctor and a psychologist but the thing is i dont want to tell my parents about this i dont want them to worry about me im always secretive and i tell people that im fine and act all happy when im sad bc i dont want people to know that im sad ive read that sweating,shaky hands,being cold sometimea when its hot and tingling body parts is a side effect of anxiety and i have those thing i alway start sweating and grt cold when om anxious and ive been havjng it lately for no reason ive had 2 panic attacks for no reason in these 9 months is there something wrong with me do i have anxiety or depression or am i overreacting