Hi Doctor, I Am 56 Years Old, Female And Have

Hi Doctor, I am 56 years old, female and have had Ra for 10 years as a result of interfuron treatment for Hep C. I absentmindedly helped an accident victim without protecting myself and had some cuts on my hands from cutting glass(I was a glass artist after my stepdaughter broke my hand and ended my concert career) The gastro Doc was a friend, actually an ex piano student of mine and I trusted him. Long after I had cleared the virus in about 5 months of Pegasus my Dr insisted that he wanted to continue it for at least another 6 months to a year. Well by month 8 I went from 120 pds to 83 pds couldn't funtion had a hard time breathing so he added procrit because my rsd count was so low It finally got to the point where my body was shutting down and I was soo sick but My Doc said it was normal side effects from the treatment. My immune system went nuts my bone marrow was no longer doing it's job so I went to see another gastro who immediately admitted me to the hospital just in time because they had to paddle me twice to restart my heart. Here I am 10 years later pretty much bankrupt and can't do any RA meds because my beautiful teeth that I took such great care of have all been breaking off and are constantly infected. Anyhoo I was on opiates and plaquenil( which I had to discontinue because of my eyesight) In Pa where I live the laws have changed because of the heroin epidemic and my PCP sent me to Pain Mgt and the new Dr has taken me off the meds and is for some bizarre reason has me on lamactyl which I have been having terrible reactions to... rashes all over my body double vision lack of coordination and even when I try to play a simple Beethoven sonata or Moscovsky Etude some thing odd is happening between my brain and fingers> I can see the score in my head but my fingers can't seem to receive the correct messages from my brain. I am now totally bedridden unless my husband carries me out to the pianos, (I have a Baldwin grand and a Steinway D concert Grand. I can't afford the co-pays to see my rhumatologist any more and I will NOT ,CANNOT sell my pianos> I am depressed and suicidal as it is.My BP is through the roof and I am crying it hurts so much,my joints are so swollen, my fingers and toes are twisting and my pain MGT guy says it's in my head , Or"too bad,so sad now go away". Physical therapy is put because my insurance maxed out on that.I am actually terrified of my pain Doc and he wants to give me more shots and epidurals all which have made things worse. Ant suggestions short of slicing my wrists in a hot tub? I woke up about 45 minutes ago because I heard some one crying in the distance and it was me. I don't want to live like this anymore. Thanks so much. Beth So sorry to waste your time I am so broke I don't even have a credit card and I refuse to go on welfare in fact I have 416 dollars to last the week and I have my Viet Nam vet husband to support and feed(he's 6'5") and eats a lot. I can't remember the last time I could hold down solid food anyway since I started the Lamactyl,Anyway I am sooo sorry to have wasted your time but it did make me feel better to tell my tale of woe. I used to be superwoman and now I can't even take a bath on my own....humiliating