Hi I Haven't Been Myself In A While. I Am

Hi I haven't been myself in a while. I am always having mixed emotions of either feeling right down to near suicidal thoughts to angered feelings of wanting to kill someone who provokes me. (I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at 15.)

The only real,time I feel happy is when I'm in Spain visiting friends. There are times were I want to cry but I cant. I need help. Can you help me.