Hi My Name Is Mariee. Umm This Is A Bit

Hi my name is Mariee. Umm this is a bit off but a series of events has left me stressed over whelmed , and in a panic...I don't even know if you all are real doctors and it worries me as well so without completely embarrassing myself too badly..I do not believe in bypolar! I thinks its the most overrated and over played disease ever. I have been told that I am bypolar and I've been with the same man for most 2 years and things are changing I'm just tired of always being at fault BC he doesn't see what I do and I've now officially slapped him in the face and pretty much abused him 3 times now...? I don't want to take meds but this has to stop!! He has yurned me into a monster i used to get abused and now im putting that pain on someone else and its not like me!!! Thats not who i am I would really just like someone to sit down and listen to the stories and what's going on and what we have both done both sides of it and honestly tell me why I am always at fault I feel like instead of him listening to me about something he's doing to make me upset even brought about calmy ends as I say it he throws something up to make it my fault never corrects it so it Is a constant circle and its got me so frustrated with him that I actually slapped him really hard last night ...its pretty obvious that help is needed somewhere...