How To Develop A Good Relationship With A Child Suffering With Bipolar Disorder?

How do you deal with a child who will not listen and do anything he is asked to do. He will be 14 in a week, and has failed 7th grade going on the second time. He and his mother (single) fight all the time, and we are always blamed for this. She is also Bi polar and will not take medication for it. It s not her, it s always our fault. YYYY@YYYY