How To Treat Stones In Kidney?

In Jan of 1996, after 4 long years of dealing with constant kidney/bladder infections I began to pass an 8 mm kidney stone and was taken to ER for the millionth time. They sent me home with a strainer. Obviously this stone was too large for me to pass and it got stuck in the ureter causing me to become septic. My mother called a urologist the next morning who advised her to bring me back to the Hospital immediately. I was rushed to surgery, stone was removed, infection that was behind kidney spread throughout my body and when I regained consciousness I was in ICU with blood pressure of 50 over 20. Things got better as I recovered but then I began to have flank pain and infections again. Several CTs/ultrasounds and X-rays over the course of the last three years showed another 6/7mm stone in the left kidney again. Everytime the pain flares and theres blood in my urine I go running to the ER or a dr. they say the stones in your kidney and doesn't cause pain and I leave feeling like an idiot. finally my new urologist did a scope procedure 2 days ago. He spoke to my husband afterwards but not to me. He told my husband that the calcification is on the outside of my kidney and that although he saw that my kidney/urinary tract is very scarred from all the infections etc. the kidney looks and functions fine. I am confused and frustrated and was hoping someone could give me some insight as to my issue. thank you in advance for your help. -Ena