I Am A 35 Year Old Mother Of 3. I

I am a 35 Year old mother of 3. I have been seeing psychiatrists & psychologists for 24+ years. I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Trichtillomania, and Panic Attacks, I have had numerous Dr.s through the years, Schizophrenia (maternal grandfather ) and Bipolar 2 (my brother) RUN IN my family. I have had psychosomatic chest pains which lead to panic Disorder for almost 15 years. I also have Narcissistic personality traits, I believe my mother and grandma and brother to have had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Along with Alcohol and Addiction. I am currently going thru a midlife crisis where I had numerous affairs on my husband and we are getting divorced, although still together in every way, I have little empathy or none for my adulterous behavior, I wish I did. MY INSURANCE HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO THE DIVORCE.
I HAVEN'T WORKED BUT A TOTAL OF 5 YEARS IN THE PAST 20 & I HAVE NO SELF WORTH OR SELF ESTEEM, DESPITE BEING SMART AND PRETTY. I FEEL JUDGED BY OTHERS THAT I TALK TOO MUCH AND DONT LISTEN, I ALSO HAVE AUTHORITY ISSUES.
PLEASE HELP...IM LOST AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO????