I Am A 58 Year Old Woman Suffering From An

I am a 58 year old woman suffering from an I balance in the brain. Have been for 6 months brought on
By total hip surgery grief of both my parents and now I feel I list my head I repeat things pull my hair sucidile but never acted on it lost 45 pounds feel ugly and scared. I took lorazapam Zoloft Remon and playing with fire
It's as if I can come back but don't want to life is to , and ch for me. I exaggerate systems start to believe them had 30 treatments of tms ocupuncture doing a mri of the brain is there any hope for me. Have a family I want to save including myself help me do the right thing