I Am Always Doing Stuff To Get Attention. (Passing Out)

I am always doing stuff to get attention. (Passing out) I like to watch people get hurt and I imagine it's me. For some reason I can't stop thinking about it. I want to be in an ambulance with people trying to save me and I want to be injured in public and being worried over. I think I really have a problem and I don't know if I have some kind of illness. I have almost gone into cardiac arrest once at school and the whole time people were holding me down. They called the ambulance and they strapped me down and gave me a shot but nothing would calm me down. Thinking about that excites me. The only thing is that I was put in a mental institution. I want to get hurt somewhere that nobody I know is there cuz my parents would think I was crazy again. I partly want to run away or have something bad happen that would give me a reason to. I also want cancer sometimes. I don't want to tell anyone like my therapist cuz then my parents would know about this. I really need someone that knows what it's like or that can help me without telling anyone I know. I know I sound really crazy but I want to at least know if there is a name for this.