I Believe I Have PTSD (due To A 2 1/2

I believe I have PTSD (due to a 2 1/2 year physically abusive relationship) and a believe I'm abusing drugs to cope with it.. What healthy thing's can I do instead. I'm scared of taking medication (I'm also Bi-polar) due to the fact I end up not feeling like myself. I refer to the feeling of "Zombie". I really want help, I'm so tired of trying to cope with life and living in fear. I don't want to have night terrors anymore and not being able to go in public without feeling like someone's out to get me and fighting off the panic attacks until I eventually make it home. I feel so hopeless.. I'm willing to start new Mediations, I just need help finding a doctor/therapist that accepts BCBS in Dallas.. Can you please help me.