I Don't Know What To Do About My Son. He

I don't know what to do about my son. He is 9 years old and this year he is in his third school in two years. He has been hospitalized at a psych ward two times in two months. Each stay was two weeks long. He was first diagnosed with IED, his psychiatrist says he has an impulse disorder, and I have been reading a lot about things that correlate with his behavior and I came across ODD which fits him to a T. He defies any authority figure, says no one can tell me what to do, I do what I want, I'm going to leave, he makes idle threats like he is going to bring a bomb to school, he is going to level the country, he is going to bring a gun to school and kill everyone. He will throw punches at other students if he thinks they are making a face at him or even just pointing in his direction. He punches and kicks teachers and social workers, stomps on their feet when they are taking him to a solitary room yells and screams threats and curse words, he gets so aggressive and yells homicidal and suicide threats, and I am worried one of these days he is going to follow through or at the least beat the heck out of some kid for little to no reason. He is a big 9 year old, I am 6'4" and have psychiatric problems myself but have never been as aggressive as my son. His mother is 5'0" and in a year or two he is going to be as big or bigger than her and he has already grabbed her and pulled her to his face and yelled, screamed, and threatened her. I only get to see him every other weekend from Friday to Sunday. When he is over he is the happiest, nicest kid you could ever meet except if he has homework to do but if you break it down and do things he likes to do in between we get it done with minimal problems except right at the beginning. It hurts me so much to see him have these problems and the stress has been causing more seizure activity in myself as I have epilepsy, generalized and social anxiety disorders, ADD, depression, and skitsoaffective disorder. His mother was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I have been almost hospitalized twice this month and last month when I was talking to my therapist because I said I had thoughts of suicide and homicidal thoughts; I didn't have any plans they were just thoughts that were present through the last time I saw her. But I am scared because I do selfishly want to end the torment and worry of my son in anyway possible; however, he is the greatest thing in my life next to my parents. I just don't think I can stand it if my son seriously hurt someone and was jailed or worse. He has been on trileptal and he just got worse, now he is on lithium carbonate and it isn't doing a damn thing. We also give him powdered Pharmaceutical grade GABA and Passion Flower extract. I do want to state that he has had an EEG and he does not have epilepsy but they did find some abnormalities. I gave his mother the names and contact info for three epileptologists to get a better look at the EEG but she hasn't done anything with that. She tries to keep me away from his schooling involvement and his health care. I just want him to be able to control himself, at school he is removed from the classroom everyday sometimes multiple times. Someone PLEASE HELP!