I Feel Like I'm Faking Depression. I Think I Have

I feel like I'm faking depression. I think I have depression, but I haven't been to a doctor or have told anyone about it. I've had suicidal thoughts sometimes (I haven't had them for a few months now), I've felt demotivated and have felt hopeless and helpless and I've been avoiding people. So, do I do I have depression? Am I faking it? Or is it just a phase/my hormones? I'm a 14 year old female. I'm too afraid to tell anyone.