I Have A Disorder It Called Sizoaffivet And I Don't

I have a disorder it called sizoaffivet and I don't think that's my disorder let me explain it like I get these crazy though that run though my mind like saying kill this person or. Just crazy thing and some times I say things out loud and I been like this for over ten years then I use to do things with in a split second like cut my side or hurt someone and no realize it just do crazy things like that then I will think like did I just do that did that really happen I don't no what to do with myself I been I all types of meds cent ,2004I don't no what to do can u help me