I Have Gone Through Ups And Downs Before But This

I have gone through ups and downs before but this time its worse. I feel tired, sleep about 4 hours a night,cry easily ,I am forgetful and cannot concentrate for long periods. I am having suicidal thoughts and have a plan but not the balls yet to put together the exit bag. I read a text on personality disorders and it sounded a lot like me. I have no friends, and am too embarrassed to call a family member. I'm 56 years old and for the past week I am unable to get myself out of this funk. I exercise for one hour a day , eat right, do not drink alcohol or take any medication. I know I should go see a professional for help but I just cant get my head around the embarrassment factor. I just read this text and man I sound like such a pussy! My question is, how would going to see a psychiatrist help ?