I Have Lived My Whole Life Worrying. I Am 25

I have lived my whole life worrying. I am 25 years old. When i was 5 , i had a very strong water gush directed to my vagina for cleaning myself up after pooping. I saw a red spot in my undies but i never paid attention to it since i knew nothing about hymens and so. When i learnt about virginity and these stuff , i recalled the incidence and i am living in hell since then. In my country , i have to be a virgin on my wedding day and i am afraid i am not. How can i know ( i cannot see a doctor ) ?