I Mansturbed Myself About 5 Days Ago With A Capped

I mansturbed myself about 5 days ago with a capped marker I have been having lots of pregnancy such as diharea vomiting bloating and Ihave had lots of stomach bugs but keepin mind i have not started my period yet and also blead for a couple of hours right after i mansturbed myself and then I stopped bleading.Am I pregnant ? If nit what do you think it is