I Masturbate 5 Times A Day Can I Ejaculate Thinking

I masturbate 5 times a day can I ejaculate thinking of women I was sexually abused as a male child yes I crave to be with a male I'm addicted to vagina I love the taste I love women I don't find men attractive yet I look at man and want to imagine what a dick looks at the moment I crave to suck a cock and taste sperm yes I hate the taste but I love women what's wrong with me