I Want To Know How My Body Is Failing Me.

I want to know how my body is failing me. I am an Alcoholic> I did not realize until I was. Until I was 20 . now 29 years later it caught up with me. I feel like I am being punished from god for my past. I have ran 5 portland Marathons. All I want to do is run and work again. I have Aciets and I have Several Gi But doters are just people. I know I have other ailments. Cancer runs in my family. My brother died at 42 years old of liver disease and he was not even a alcoholic at all