I'm A 54 Year Post Menopausal Woman And Have Been

I'm a 54 year post menopausal woman and have been diagnosed with IBS, RA, Spondyloarthopathy, 4 bulging discs and central cord narrowing. I frequently have a sudden onset of extreme flushing on my face and chest. In addition, my hands and feet turn bright red to purple become uncomfortably warm and swell. Within the last three years I've had to leave a nurse manager position in fast paced and growing ICU, lost my father and sister 6 and 4 years before that. Disability was denied, and I went from a 6 digit salary to zero. This strained my marriage, My mother's health has been declining over the past year and at times I've needed to care for her 24/7 for a few weeks until her strength returns and she is safe at home by herself. Could the flushing be a result of the autoimmune diseases and chronic pain because of a catecholamine release? (narcotics are off the table because I have seen close friends get very dependent and they don't help with my pain) Or am I just not managing stress well and need to put on my big girl panties?