Is Occasional Use Of Suboxone Advisable For Pain Management?

Hello, I have been taking 30 mil. oxy 3 times a day usually 2 at a time off and on evrymonth for the pass year. when i dont have them i usually take a half subox evryday. Well ive decided to quit all this and im really worried. im in day 3 of no roxy. i toof a very small piece of subox yesterday and one today to help with the pain im filling. I feel lost and hopless. Ive been eating sometime type of pain med since 2007 and its progressed over the years. I have to work and i cant work like this so i dont no what to do. Is it ok to use this 1 subox i have to cheat through this. am i setting myself up for failure . Ive had thoughts ive never had that are scarying me.