My 13 Year Old Son Has Adhd Odd And Ptsd

My 13 year old son has adhd odd and ptsd he gets defiant and does this hand slapping and foot stomping that he can't seem to stop or is hard to. Some examples are asking over and over to brush his teeth out stop stomping or no you can't sleep with me (I'm his mom) then there is the quick temper we've been trying to tame for years he's on meds but impulsive still. Very tearful when you yell ( his dad does too much of that and physical agresssion) I'm divorced. I desperately need tips on how to quietly and calmly deal with this.