Something Doesn't Feel Right With My Brain. I Think I

Something doesn't feel right with my brain. I think I might be suicidal. But I'm not distraught. I just feel totally lazy and unmotivated. I've been treated for major depression for years and it's just not getting any better. I feel like just staying in bed and letting myself be fired from work if it comes down to it. I just feel really bad and can't find relief. I don't know if I'm suicidal but I just always feel bad. Do I need to go to the emergency room? I think I might need to but I would feel stupid for doing so and that would make me even more sad. What do I do?