Sometime I.m Hurting Myself. I.m Drinking Chemistry (like Bleach With

Sometime i.m hurting myself. I.m drinking chemistry (like bleach with chlore) with water and different drugs (like clorazepam that i have little bit left and other strong prescripted medicine) I.m not sure what doctor do i need. How to start. I.m scared tell anybody. I also started mixing antidepressants with alcohol . i tried kill myself before 2 times. It didn.t worked. Now i.m trying kill myself slowly. That way i.m not gonna make my family dissapointed. I feeling myself tired and all my bones and langs in pain. I moved to new place. I don.t want find new doctor.