Suggest Treatment For A Rectocele

I beared down really hard to push out my tampon it was stuck. I wasn't sitting was standing hunched over with my fingers inside (I was drunk). I pushed 3 times. I didn't realize how hard. A week later I went to the doctor because I felt a bulge inside. I now have a rectocele. My vagina is swollen, loose, and lost all sensation. Dr. suggested a pinched nerve. Its been two months hasn't gotten better. I am also having difficulty sensing when to urinate. I also have to use my fingers to have have a bowel movement (splint). My question is do you think I gave myself permanent nerve damage. I didn't even know it was possible. Would you compare it to an actual delivery considering all the problems I have now. Also do you think the rectocele was just waiting to happen. I feel so stupid and ashamed. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks