Suggest Treatment For Lumps Discharge After Abortion

hi, im 16 and had a abortion at 18weeks, it wasn't my choice my mum forced me into it. I'm massivly depressed and getting noticably worst every week. I cannot take my mind off it. Im phicically sick when I think back to the procedure. I'm scared of babies now too. I can't sleep, I havent't slept for 6 days now. I usually get a hour in the day to sleep but im woken by nightmares. I really wanted to keep my baby. Also I have bled heavily every day since but my mum just tells me to forget about it because its the past now. Im very very unwell i cannot acces a doctor because my mum tells me i am fine. I have massive cramps at night. Since the abortion I cannot lie down like flat on my back with my legs straight and head back it causes to much pain. I get lumps of blood everyday. Please please can you help me