Suggest Ways To Resolve Relationship Issues

My wife and my have been married for 22 years. My wife son I feel is the most important in here life. She said it is the way she is. Her son lives my him self because that is the way I liked it. He has OCD and bipolar. We only see him one or two times a week and she goes on a date with one or every two times a week. She takes wonderful care of me. But her heart belongs to her son and very strong attach to her other children. I do love to be with her, she said I am controlling. Have had to make changes in my life so we are more compatabile. No an important thing but she would not say obay in our ceramonial. She likes independance. Which all of us do. Both of us have made adjustments. Since I feel I an not a priority in our marriage I am not found of her son, which is not right. But that's my feeling. She holds it against me. What do we do?