Thank You Dr. Rynne For Being Available To Answer My

Thank you Dr. Rynne for being available to answer my question. I am a 65 year old female. I retired at 62 and have not been the same. Retirement caused a great deal of anxiety. I went on Effexor. After a year I weaned myself from the drug and felt extremely suicidal. I sought help from a Naturopath and a psychiatrist. I was back on Effexor but changed to Prozac a year ago. I deal with feelings of depersonalization and derealization which happened after the first weaning of Effexor. I keep busy with gardening and babysitting for my grandchildren but I never feel quite present. Is it the antidepressant or me?