What Causes Paranoid Behavior And Confusion In A Person?

SINCE I WAS 11YRS OLD I HAD BOUTS OF FEELING LIKE A STRANGER IN MY BODY, IT WOULD LAST SOMETIMES FOR DAYS. I WAS AFRAID IF ANYONE KNEW WHAT I WAS FEELING I D BE PUT AWAY SOMEWHERE. I DON T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS OTHER ME, NOTHING SEEMS REAL, I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY BRAIN, I FEEL LIKE I M THE ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANET WHEN I M ALONE, GOING THROUGH MOTIONS, NOT CONNECTED TO MYSELF. I M 55 YRS OLD NOW AND THESE SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN WREAKING HAVOC IN MY LIFE. I JUST WANT IT TO STOP AND FEEL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON,I FEEL SCARED, ALONE, STRANGE, DISCONNECTED,AND LIVING SOMEONE ELSES LIFE, THAT I KNOW IS MINE BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT. I VE TOLD MY PSYCHIATRIST BUT SHE HAS NT DONE ANYTHING TO HELP ALLIEVIATE THIS MENTAL DISORDER. I M SUPPOSED TO MAKE AN APPT. WITH A NEW THERAPIST, I KNOW I NEED TO BUT IS THIS ONE GOING TO BE LIKE ALL THE REST ONES I VE HAD. I M SO SCAREDOF EVERYTHING WHEN I FEEL LIKE THIS, AND IT HASN T LET UP FOR WEEKS NOW, IT S A DAILY STRUGGLE TO JUST GET THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT THIS VERY DISTURBING FEELING , I M SO ALONE AND CONFUSED,I FEEL LIKE I M INSANE AND HOPELESS. I DON T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I M LOSING MYSELF AND I DON T KNOW HOW TO GET JOANN BACKAND FEELING NORMAL, HOW CAN I STOP THIS! SOMETIMES I WISH THAT I WOULD JUST DIE OR FALL ASLEEP AND WAKEUP AND I D BE LIKE FEELING NORMALAND THE REAL ME, I M SO WORN OUT BY THIS DISORDER, IT S TAKEN OVER ALL OF ME LATELY REALLY BAD.