Why Am I Having Such A Hard Time Going Thru

Why am I having such a hard time going thru w suicide. My daughters have completely abandoned me, I'm isolated, alone, on meds for mental health, have had so many trauma's n 5 years, I have nothing to live for. Now oldest pregnan5, I'm no part of, haven't even seen her. I cannot live w/o daughters, cannot take pain, live thru her giving birth our 1st grandchild n never c. I want to die. My girls don't love me. No, psychiatrist r meds gonna make better. I do not want police coming to baker act me