Yes Hi, My Name Is Austin I Live In North

Yes hi, my name is Austin i live in north dakota and need some help with how to deal with the gender issue I'm having. I've always thought that i belong a girl at a really young age since i was 8 years old, I've had issues with my parents and sister of getting into their stuff at my teenage ages and been trying to figure out how to resolve my problems. I've been a cross dresser most of my life and at 27 that I'm today i feel I've hit an all time low with depression and don't know if i can recover from it. i hate my male self I am. I feel i would be much happier and more successful in life of being my true being of female form. I just can't seem to keep a job as myself right now since I'm not very functional as a guy. i hit this spike after halloween of this year when i was dressed as a girl and had the time of my life. When November 1st came i just got super sad and pretty much cried all day and have been trying to keep myself in control of my depressed self. I don't know what to do anymore.

Ive read articles of this gender dysphoria condition and know that my best option of transgendered or transexual is both, i could not live with myself just dressing as a female but knowing that I'm a male down there. and getting the operation done i could not live with myself as a guy even though I'm a female below. i personally think my only option is to become full female, with surgery and looks. i cannot process how much happiness i would be and how it would change my life to be successful in this world.

I would like to know what i should do. Im no bank, i know this stuff all cost big money and can't process how i will or would be able to come up with the funds to be able to make this reality.

This is my last ditch effort, I'm to the point where i can't live with myself anymore if i can't be happy. There is no happiness in me as a male.

I know my family would not be supportive of me if i do transition. So I'm on my own. I don't know what to do.

Please guide me in the right direction before i think its over.

Thanks, Austin