Hello I'm Stefan Austin, I'm Asking You As I'm Scared

hello I'm Stefan Austin, I'm asking you as I'm scared to go to the doctors surgery about it I'm scared to go out my house at all, I shake and become anxious and scared and feel like I'm not actually there I'm just watching through someones eyes, my heart races and I cant think straight. I suffer with depression and anxiety on and off for years and my partner and friends have noticed that I have episodes of really low state of mind and some months or weeks very happy and energetic. at the minute I'm going through a depression stage and its the worst its ever been, I feel so alone even with a house full and scared of loosing control and staring all the time and twitching and confused, I need help but I'm scared of going out to get it, I just cant I'm stuck, i sleep about 2 hour a night at the minute i just cant shut down, im not eating properly either, i feel like im loosing time everyday.