This Is So Hard. Diagnosed Almost 10 Years Ago With

this is so hard. diagnosed almost 10 years ago with RA. initial treatment was methotrexate, humira, steroids, folic acid and pain meds. 2 years with humira and it was no longer working. swithed to Enbrel, had an alleric reaction, switched to simponi and just went from self injection to infusion. (insurance reasons). had a heart attack October 29, 2014. problems have gotten worse. got off steroids. they were killing me. started having pain on my left side feels like right under the ribs. had a ct scan of my lungs & now am having a test to see if I have pulmonary fibrosis. since being off steroids, I have gained almost 50 pounds, my legs and feet are swollen and red. full on ra flair up to the point where I can barely get up or down. once I get up I am able to move around but can't do very much before lower back pain and the pain on left side as described earlier. things are really feeling hopeless.