When Is It Time To Ask For Help Suicide Wise?

when is it time to ask for help suicide wise? I am an alcoholic and I would think about it in great detail when drinking but now I've curbed my drinking but think about the same if not more. I always put it in terms of not making my family sad at certain times of the year but I feel like it's not a good enough reason anymore. I just need someone to help me, or some advice, I was seeing a therapist but she just stopped communicating with me and I dont have insurance so it's not easy to get another.