Prevention of Suicide: Signs to Look for

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” Robin Williams

Monday August 11th, a cultural icon, a comedic genius and a personal hero of mine, Robin Williams, passed away. He was 63 years old. The circumstances surrounding his death remain an issue for the authorities and his family and I have no desire to delve into them. Instead I would like to focus on giving people information on depression and suicide and try and give the reader some idea of what to look for in a suicidal person. If a loved one notices these things, a timely intervention could prevent a lifetime of loss, guilt and pain.

Data shows that 2/3rd of people who commit suicide, tell someone of their plans before it happens. While women are more likely to attempt suicide than men in a ratio of 3 to 1, men are more likely to be successful in a ratio of 4 to 1

I must mention that some of the signs and symptoms I mention here are in dispute. Some scholars believe that all of these telltales are signs of an eventual attempt, while others believe that many of these signs are just “thoughts” in passing and may not contribute to long term risk. No matter whether the risk exists or not, if one sees these symptoms, providing love and support can do no harm.

It goes without saying, those closest to the person in question and those who interact with them the most are in the best position to see what is going on. It may not always be a loved one, who spots suicidal tendencies in a person. It may be a co-worker or an acquaintance— anyone who spends time with the person.

Those who interact with and care for the depressed are commonly caught with a sense of helplessness. Not knowing what to do, not knowing if their actions will hurt or help the situation. Remember, it is always helpful to encourage the person to seek professional help. Encouraging the person to tell anyone, a counselor, even their family doctor can go a long way. There is no easy way to confront people who are at risk. In general, it is important to make sure the person who you are discussing this with knows you care for them and are willing to help with ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT. Remember, depression is a clinical disease (narrowed down to chemical signal changes in the brain itself), not a sign of weakness.   

Warning Signs of Suicide:

If you or someone you know has heard the person say any two of the following, seeking help is important:

• Life isn’t worth living
• My family (or friends or girlfriend/boyfriend) would be better off without me
• Next time I’ll take enough pills to do the job right
• Take my prized collection or valuables — I don’t need this stuff anymore
• Don’t worry, I won’t be around to deal with that
• You’ll be sorry when I’m gone
• I won’t be in your way much longer
• I just can’t deal with everything — life’s too hard
• I won’t be a burden much longer
• Nobody understands me — nobody feels the way I do
• There’s nothing I can do to make it better
• I’d be better off dead
• I feel like there is no way out
• You’d be better off without me

You must note that expressions change from culture to culture and people have different ways and languages for saying the above. It’s the idea behind the words that is important. Not the words themselves.

If you ever notice the person in question engaging in the following activities, seeking help is vital:

• Getting affairs in order (paying off debts, updating a will).
• Giving away personal items, money or other valuables.
• Signs of planning a suicide such as obtaining a weapon or writing a suicide note

Suicidal behavior is one extreme form of depression. To prevent suicide, the best thing is to catch the depressive illness early and have it treated professionally. Some common signs and symptoms of depression are:

• Depressed or sad mood (e.g., feeling “blue” or “down in the dumps”)
• A change in the person’s sleeping patterns (e.g., sleeping too much or too little, or having difficulty sleeping through the night)
• A significant change in the person’s weight or appetite
• Speaking and/or moving with unusual speed or slowness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities (e.g., hobbies, outdoor activities, hanging around with friends)
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Diminished ability to think or concentrate, slowed thinking or indecisiveness
• Feelings of worthlessness, self-reproach, or guilt
• Thoughts of death, suicide, or wishes to be dead

All in all, it takes immense patience and care to look for the signs of suicidal behavior in a loved one. We tend to deny it in ourselves and don’t wish to see it in those we love. I guess the most important thing is to make sure that when you speak to your loved ones about their depression, you make sure they know that they are in a safe and judgment free situation.