Sign-in to Ask A Doctor - 24x7
OR
Sign in with Google
Baby's Hair Colour, Skin Colour Does Not Match With Those Of Mine. Could I Still Be The Father?
Question: I am new here, I don't know If I have posted on the right page.
In 2009 I was drunk met a girl at a party and slept with her unprotected. She then started talking about getting married and started talking about things which kind of freaked me out. (Without sounding nasty but my friends told me not to stay in contact with her as she is a bit of a psycho). So I told her I didn't really want to talk to her any more and would go my own way. She then started to harass me for a few weeks and then suddenly said she was pregnant with my child. I then thought she was using it as a ploy to get me back so I just changed my number. My friends know this girl and they told me to forget about it at the time as she does have a reputation to sleep around with different people and has said this to a lot of people. She is 23 now and has 5 children from different fathers and another on the way.
Anyway, She got in contact with me last year September stating she had my child to which I panicked (As I am happily married now). When she emailed me she had just split with her ex so I thought she was just trying to get back at me, she agreed to the DNA test then but told me no point doing a DNA test as it would be a waste of my money. I told her to give me her telephone number at the time, Which she did but she told me not to ring her as she was with her sister ( Which made me think why would you not want me to ring you), She then said to me, 'Ring me now' I told her i would ring her later to which she responded 'If your not going to ring me then delete my number'. I thought shes taking the XXXXXXX again, So I blocked her on my Facebook and tried to forget about it but it has been eating away at my conscious that I can't forget about it. So I messaged her for several weeks but she didn't get back to me, I then emailed her last week saying I will pay for the baby etc if it is mine and she finally responded. I have ordered the DNA test and I am worried sick. If the child turns out to be mine, I am going to loose my wife, My family everything. They will not be able to bare it. I honestly don't know what to do. I have told her, I will send a friend around to hers to get the swab done as I don't want to see her, but she is adamant that I have to come and not my friend.
I slept with her on May 5th 2009, She had the baby on the 02.02.2010. I have been trying to stay calm but I can't. I have been reading online, But I have dark skin and black hair, and the baby has white skin with dark blonde/light brown hair. Also the child she is claiming to be mine, On that photo on Facebook there is a comment under the photo stating 'Micheal's baby is getting big now' I'm not XXXXXXX Taking in consideration of the dates and skin color and hair color. Do you think I should be okay?
In 2009 I was drunk met a girl at a party and slept with her unprotected. She then started talking about getting married and started talking about things which kind of freaked me out. (Without sounding nasty but my friends told me not to stay in contact with her as she is a bit of a psycho). So I told her I didn't really want to talk to her any more and would go my own way. She then started to harass me for a few weeks and then suddenly said she was pregnant with my child. I then thought she was using it as a ploy to get me back so I just changed my number. My friends know this girl and they told me to forget about it at the time as she does have a reputation to sleep around with different people and has said this to a lot of people. She is 23 now and has 5 children from different fathers and another on the way.
Anyway, She got in contact with me last year September stating she had my child to which I panicked (As I am happily married now). When she emailed me she had just split with her ex so I thought she was just trying to get back at me, she agreed to the DNA test then but told me no point doing a DNA test as it would be a waste of my money. I told her to give me her telephone number at the time, Which she did but she told me not to ring her as she was with her sister ( Which made me think why would you not want me to ring you), She then said to me, 'Ring me now' I told her i would ring her later to which she responded 'If your not going to ring me then delete my number'. I thought shes taking the XXXXXXX again, So I blocked her on my Facebook and tried to forget about it but it has been eating away at my conscious that I can't forget about it. So I messaged her for several weeks but she didn't get back to me, I then emailed her last week saying I will pay for the baby etc if it is mine and she finally responded. I have ordered the DNA test and I am worried sick. If the child turns out to be mine, I am going to loose my wife, My family everything. They will not be able to bare it. I honestly don't know what to do. I have told her, I will send a friend around to hers to get the swab done as I don't want to see her, but she is adamant that I have to come and not my friend.
I slept with her on May 5th 2009, She had the baby on the 02.02.2010. I have been trying to stay calm but I can't. I have been reading online, But I have dark skin and black hair, and the baby has white skin with dark blonde/light brown hair. Also the child she is claiming to be mine, On that photo on Facebook there is a comment under the photo stating 'Micheal's baby is getting big now' I'm not XXXXXXX Taking in consideration of the dates and skin color and hair color. Do you think I should be okay?
Hi and welcome to XXXXXXX Thank you for your querry.
I understand your concerns, everyone would be stressed and anxious about this situation. It is not easy to evaluate social, physical, emotional and juristic aspects of this problem. Also I dont want to blame anyone or judge, but it seems like you could be a victim of someones else frustration. As a doctor I can give you few advices and facts about genetics and DNA testing. For other stuff you need to decide on your own, but I wonder why would your wife be worried about it if it happened before you 2 met each other. Secondly, you simply must do DNA testing. Reasons: If she didnt insist on it it means that she isnt sure about your paternity and she is hiding something. When you do the test and results are negative,your wife and children dont need to find this all out ever. If you dont do the test you wont be relaxed and you can always be blackmailed,she can involve lawyers and police in it and your wife will surely know it. You cannot know is this your baby just by its look. Many infants have blond hair and skin which become dark after few years, baby can have mothers genes or this photo wasnt reliable, you simply cant know without testing. Considering dates it is obvious that it might be your baby. XXXXXXX can be someone who only thinks he is a father. It doesnt mean that I am pesimistic but you really must know. Your future depends on this test. WOuldnt you feel better if you know the truth?
I understand your concerns, everyone would be stressed and anxious about this situation. It is not easy to evaluate social, physical, emotional and juristic aspects of this problem. Also I dont want to blame anyone or judge, but it seems like you could be a victim of someones else frustration. As a doctor I can give you few advices and facts about genetics and DNA testing. For other stuff you need to decide on your own, but I wonder why would your wife be worried about it if it happened before you 2 met each other. Secondly, you simply must do DNA testing. Reasons: If she didnt insist on it it means that she isnt sure about your paternity and she is hiding something. When you do the test and results are negative,your wife and children dont need to find this all out ever. If you dont do the test you wont be relaxed and you can always be blackmailed,she can involve lawyers and police in it and your wife will surely know it. You cannot know is this your baby just by its look. Many infants have blond hair and skin which become dark after few years, baby can have mothers genes or this photo wasnt reliable, you simply cant know without testing. Considering dates it is obvious that it might be your baby. XXXXXXX can be someone who only thinks he is a father. It doesnt mean that I am pesimistic but you really must know. Your future depends on this test. WOuldnt you feel better if you know the truth?
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thank you very much for your answer. I am very anxious about the situation and have lost a lot of weight over the last few weeks. I am trying to stay calm but I can't, I have a very sickly feeling in my stomach and keep vomiting. I haven't eaten or slept for days. Is there anything I can do to try to calm down?
Just need to relax. if this is true about the girl,possibility that you are a father isnt big.she could have slept with tens of men in this month. nothing will change if you dont eat or sleep.you can just harm yourself. ask your doctor about medicines which will relax you and make sleep easier.dont need to tell him the reason.just say that you are stressed about work and that you cant sleep well.you ll feel much better after the test. you are young and i wish that this is the worst thing that happened to you. talk to your friends,go for a drink.remember how nice child and woman you have.that you are healthy young people. i really have a feeling that everything will be fone at the end.
Note: For detailed guidance on genetic screening consult a genetics specialist
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
Get personalised answers from verified doctor in minutes across 80+ specialties
