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How Can One Change Their Behavior When Their Children Claim Them To Be Instructional And Bossy?

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Posted on Thu, 15 Nov 2018
Question: Hi Dr. XXXX, I have never been depressed till about a month ago. Both of My adult daughters have decided that I tell them what to do and they are sick of it . I have taken Effexor for years for my hot flashes and over active bladder for my Ms. So I am already on an anti depressant. A friend of my is a psychologist and told me that the kids now a days are not like us, they resent being told what to do even if it is the right thing and the best thing to do. He told me told to not tell them anything anymore. Some day they will be sorry for what they have done. Dr. XXXX, I have thought about this and That is just not me , I can change some of me, but not all of me. Some advice please.
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Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
You should take care of yourself, too!

Detailed Answer:

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear about what you have narrated. As a parent myself, I know how difficult this is. After numerous trials, I have come to the conclusion that if I must keep my sanity, I must streamline how much I dictate to my children.

So much has changed over time. The same values we held in high esteem are totally different. Our life goals then seem totally unrealistic with this present generation. This has caused me much pain as well.

Ultimately, I have settled on volunteering my counsel but not obliging anyone to stick to it. This way, I have a free conscience, that as a parent I did my best for them. I encourage you to adopt a similar attitude and save yourself from this depression that wouldn’t ultimately change them.

Also, pick your battles. For trivial things that have no major consequences, it is okay to allow them to go as they please. Limit how many you pick on and they will certainly take you more seriously on those as opposed to talking about many.

I wish you well. Hope I have answered your query. Feel free to follow up with me as you please.

Regards,
Dr. Chobufo Ditah,
General & Family Physician
Note: For further follow up on related General & Family Physician Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana
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Answered by
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Dr. Chobufo Ditah

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2009

Answered : 6323 Questions

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How Can One Change Their Behavior When Their Children Claim Them To Be Instructional And Bossy?

Brief Answer: You should take care of yourself, too! Detailed Answer: Hi, I am so sorry to hear about what you have narrated. As a parent myself, I know how difficult this is. After numerous trials, I have come to the conclusion that if I must keep my sanity, I must streamline how much I dictate to my children. So much has changed over time. The same values we held in high esteem are totally different. Our life goals then seem totally unrealistic with this present generation. This has caused me much pain as well. Ultimately, I have settled on volunteering my counsel but not obliging anyone to stick to it. This way, I have a free conscience, that as a parent I did my best for them. I encourage you to adopt a similar attitude and save yourself from this depression that wouldn’t ultimately change them. Also, pick your battles. For trivial things that have no major consequences, it is okay to allow them to go as they please. Limit how many you pick on and they will certainly take you more seriously on those as opposed to talking about many. I wish you well. Hope I have answered your query. Feel free to follow up with me as you please. Regards, Dr. Chobufo Ditah, General & Family Physician