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How Can One Cope With A Dependent Adult Child Who Is Emotionally And Financially Draining?

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Posted on Tue, 9 May 2023
Question: Hello,
I would like to know how can I get some advice from the Doctor to cope up with my son who is 24+ is a dependent adult child, emotionally and financially draining me and my wife
doctor
Answered by Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe (20 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Consultation

Detailed Answer:

Hello,

The solution here, which will be hard for you, is to cut him off financially. No more money and no more help. He is a 24-year-old adult who needs to learn to care for himself and he will have no motivation to do that until you stop providing for him.

Tell him he cannot live with you anymore and give him no more money. This is the best thing for him because it will force him to take responsibility. In my experience, there is no other way.

Hope I have answered your query. Let me know if I can assist you further.

Thank you.

Regards,
Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe
Psychiatrist
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe (20 minutes later)
Dear Dr. Sheppe

Many thanks for the solution. We tried this many times and he is always using the weakness of his mother to get help.

Can you please suggest what and how we (father & mother) should do? Should we keep on advising him? I noticed the more we advise the more he is going out of controle

Thanks

doctor
Answered by Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe (32 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Follow up

Detailed Answer:

Hello,

I would imagine that he already knows what to do in terms of advice, so you should feel free not to speak further.

I think if he is open to having a respectful conversation, then you should listen and advise, but if he is being combative, there is not much use.

Hope I have answered your query.

Thank you.

Regards,
Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe
Psychiatrist
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
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Answered by
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Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2014

Answered : 2236 Questions

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How Can One Cope With A Dependent Adult Child Who Is Emotionally And Financially Draining?

Brief Answer: Consultation Detailed Answer: Hello, The solution here, which will be hard for you, is to cut him off financially. No more money and no more help. He is a 24-year-old adult who needs to learn to care for himself and he will have no motivation to do that until you stop providing for him. Tell him he cannot live with you anymore and give him no more money. This is the best thing for him because it will force him to take responsibility. In my experience, there is no other way. Hope I have answered your query. Let me know if I can assist you further. Thank you. Regards, Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe Psychiatrist