How Can One Manage The Relationship After The Daughter Learns Of Bad Past Behaviors Of The Parent?

Posted on Tue, 8 May 2018

Medically reviewed by Ask A Doctor - 24x7 Medical Review Team

Tue, 8 May 2018 Answered on

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 Last reviewed on

Question : My daughter looked me up on the net and found I had a bad past.She has locked out intire fsmily(we live with her) and she says my granddaughter will not be welcome in her house

Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (43 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
Provide more Info

Detailed Answer:
Dear Friend, Thanks for the question.

You need to provide more information. Is your daughter talking about her own child? who is the grandchild here? what is your daughter's age? married? Does she have any past psychological issues? How was her childhood? What is your assessment about her?

for the time being somehow you have to convince your daughter. Let the present awkward situation Pass away.

Then everyone will have ample time to rethink and recuperate. wait and watch. Everything will be alright.

Take care

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Remy Koshy

Follow up: Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (3 hours later)

My daughter is age 50 and XXXXXXX is her daughter my granddaughter. She is married and i was not married at the time at the time i had her. She has dissowned,her daughter becouse she dpesnt approve of her lifestyle.When got married to my now husband it was like mixing oil and water as she became a teen.My daughter had noone to babysit her daughter from the time she was born. I had her 24/7 until she was6 and she wasnt married to the father,Before she was even thoght of I was a bartender and an alcoholic. My husband was too.She googled me and found out about my past and flipped out. You dont tell her anything becouse every one will know it within minuets.

Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (3 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Tread carefully, calmly and without prejudice.

Detailed Answer:
Dear friend. thanks for your follow up question.

I do understand your present condition. Are you finding fault in your daughters present behavior and emotional pattern ?

You are an elder and you have enough life experience to understand the emotional outbursts of youngsters or others.

In my opinion your daughters present behavior pattern should be due to over whelmed emotions and a feeling of being cheated in her past.

This emotional outbursts should subside in a few days. I suggest you to tread carefully, calmly and without prejudice.

Take care

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana