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How To Get Rid Of Alcohol Abuse?
Question: my father is alcoholic since last 25 years.right now he stays with himself,does not talk much.avoid conversation with everyone.talks as least as possible.but when he is drunk he fights with my mom for no reason.if there is no topic to talk,he will bring one of no importance and will start saying i have to do this,i have to do that. he will start discussing the same thing that has been discussed already. he pretends like there are many problems in his life that's why he is worried,even if there is no problem really. he gets disturbed even by a smallest task he has to do. he is happy to give us money and let us do our work on our own as we wish .but if he has to do something he gets anxious.some important points i would like to mention-
1.he brings back old topics for fight which are gone long time ago.
2.when his alcohol INTOXICATION goes, he becomes normal and pretend like nothing happened when he was drunk.and when we remind him of what he was doing ,he starts blaming us that we are lier's '.but in his mind he knows that he was behaving badly but he cant accept that.
3.when he is drunk and fighting with us and suppose a phone call comes or a outsider comes he starts behaving normally like nothing was happening there.
4.he cries many times for no reason, like he wants us to believe that he has many problems in life.
5.he abuses my mom to go to his brothers home and my sisters to go there husbands when the come to home. but when my mom goes for few days to his brother in anger, my dad start missing my mom. then he will call her everday and will not drink and then will go there to bring her back. but again after few days its again same.
p.s.- my mom says he was not like this earlier,but has become like this since last 10 years.
ps. 4 months ago i found out i have obsessive compulsive disorder. and i am taking medication for that.
so what to do about him?
1.he brings back old topics for fight which are gone long time ago.
2.when his alcohol INTOXICATION goes, he becomes normal and pretend like nothing happened when he was drunk.and when we remind him of what he was doing ,he starts blaming us that we are lier's '.but in his mind he knows that he was behaving badly but he cant accept that.
3.when he is drunk and fighting with us and suppose a phone call comes or a outsider comes he starts behaving normally like nothing was happening there.
4.he cries many times for no reason, like he wants us to believe that he has many problems in life.
5.he abuses my mom to go to his brothers home and my sisters to go there husbands when the come to home. but when my mom goes for few days to his brother in anger, my dad start missing my mom. then he will call her everday and will not drink and then will go there to bring her back. but again after few days its again same.
p.s.- my mom says he was not like this earlier,but has become like this since last 10 years.
ps. 4 months ago i found out i have obsessive compulsive disorder. and i am taking medication for that.
so what to do about him?
Brief Answer:
First of all you should realise that he is ill should show empathy to him
Detailed Answer:
Welcome to HCM and thanks for question
I have read your query and I can understand your concern about your father. I can understand the stress to you and your family due to his habit of alcohol abuse. The behaviour you have mentioned is common behaviour seen in patients of chronic alcohol abuse.
Though very difficult to find why he got involved in alcohol abuse still it is clear from your history that his habit of alcohol abuse has resulted in significant blow to his personality and he has developed depressive symptoms. He remains isolated and doesn't like to talk much or get involved in conversations during his abstinent periods probably because of guilt associated with alcoholism. In case of chronic alcohol abuse individuals develop guilt to their behaviour because of repeated fights in families due to alcohol use, but they cant control their habit due to physical and psychological dependence.
The symptoms like anger outbursts during the periods of alcohol use are probably due to disinhibited behaviour during alcohol use. A lot of individuals with chronic alcohol use distance themselves from other during alcohol free periods but when they take alcohol they start showing violent behaviours. His habit of blaming others for his conditions or fighting on any trivial issue is due to RATIONALISATION. In simple terms it is a defence mechanism seen in alcoholics means making excuse. They start brining old things in fight, fights with family members and even abuse or hurt them.
Then How to deal with him?
First of all as a son you should accept that he is an alcoholic and alcoholism is a disease like any other disease. Though during initial stages individuals drink alcohol with will but with time due to dependence and changes at receptor levels it becomes like a disease. So you should accept his problem and should also make other family members realise that he is not doing all this knowingly. He should be shown proper empathy and should be given proper respect. With time he will become compliant to any advise and then you can request him to visit a psychiatrist for treatment of alcohol abuse.
Thanks, please ask again for more doubts
First of all you should realise that he is ill should show empathy to him
Detailed Answer:
Welcome to HCM and thanks for question
I have read your query and I can understand your concern about your father. I can understand the stress to you and your family due to his habit of alcohol abuse. The behaviour you have mentioned is common behaviour seen in patients of chronic alcohol abuse.
Though very difficult to find why he got involved in alcohol abuse still it is clear from your history that his habit of alcohol abuse has resulted in significant blow to his personality and he has developed depressive symptoms. He remains isolated and doesn't like to talk much or get involved in conversations during his abstinent periods probably because of guilt associated with alcoholism. In case of chronic alcohol abuse individuals develop guilt to their behaviour because of repeated fights in families due to alcohol use, but they cant control their habit due to physical and psychological dependence.
The symptoms like anger outbursts during the periods of alcohol use are probably due to disinhibited behaviour during alcohol use. A lot of individuals with chronic alcohol use distance themselves from other during alcohol free periods but when they take alcohol they start showing violent behaviours. His habit of blaming others for his conditions or fighting on any trivial issue is due to RATIONALISATION. In simple terms it is a defence mechanism seen in alcoholics means making excuse. They start brining old things in fight, fights with family members and even abuse or hurt them.
Then How to deal with him?
First of all as a son you should accept that he is an alcoholic and alcoholism is a disease like any other disease. Though during initial stages individuals drink alcohol with will but with time due to dependence and changes at receptor levels it becomes like a disease. So you should accept his problem and should also make other family members realise that he is not doing all this knowingly. He should be shown proper empathy and should be given proper respect. With time he will become compliant to any advise and then you can request him to visit a psychiatrist for treatment of alcohol abuse.
Thanks, please ask again for more doubts
Note: In case of any other concern or query related to prevention, evaluation, diagnosis, treatment, or the recovery of persons with the any type of addiction or substance use, follow up with our Addiction Medicine Specialist. Click here to book a consultation now.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
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