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How To Manage Aggressive And Abusive Behavior Of Spouse?
Question: Hi, My question is related to my wife. We never had good relationship just after our marriage although it was an Love Marriage. My married Life is 12 years. My wife suffering from severe depression and she also has skin problem which doctors say its only because of stress. My wife does not have good relation with any one nor with her family i.e her Mother and Brother nor In Laws as she thinks everyone has ditched her. She even does not behave properly with our two daughters also who are 6 years and 12 year old. She started small business recently but stopped taking Interest in that also misbehaves with staff also so Manpower is also problem for her small business. She thinks I have Extra Marital Affair and she doe not trust any one. She is not ready to visit doctor also as she thinks its a conspiracy against her. I am sure I have also done some mistakes in past as for me handling such situation for so long forced me to find happiness outside my home. But Now since last one year I am doing whatever she wishes but still she creates scene every day. She shouts and yell like hell on me, on children's and every one around also uses dirty language and does not care who all are there. Recently she took 3 tablets of Sleeping Pill and I rushed to Hospital at night but Doctors were nice and advised me all is well don't admit her as this will make Medico Legal Case. My Job requires Travelling and I am scared to go out of Town. When ever she is upset she says she want to live alone and will not take children with her. She has very less attachment with children also. How to go about for treatment as she is not ready to support that also. She does not do any Physical work also. She has four maids for household and three staff to handle showroom. So she does coordination whole day and abusing everyone. Please suggest.
Brief Answer:
need some details.
Detailed Answer:
Hello
Welcome to HCM.
I have read your description thoroughly. I can understand your concerns for your wife.
Life stressors can lead some nervous breakdown in anyone.
Your wife becomes aggressive to everyone, even your children. She feels that you are conspiring against her when you take her to doctor. She abuses everyone around. She also has a suspicious attitude feeling that everyone has ditched her.
Keeping these key points about her behaviour in mind in relation to your whole description, I feel that she is progressing towards developing a paranoid psychotic disorder. There is also some possibility of 'Depression with Psychotic symptoms'.
To reach to a better conclusion and guide you further, I need some more details:
1. How was her behaviour before marriage when you both were in a relationship?
2. Does she has a family history of mental illness?
3. Does she ever complains of hearing abnormal voices?
4. How has her mood been off late?
5. Has she committed self-harm more then once?
6. Any treament taken in past?
Kindly reply back with these details.
Thanks.
need some details.
Detailed Answer:
Hello
Welcome to HCM.
I have read your description thoroughly. I can understand your concerns for your wife.
Life stressors can lead some nervous breakdown in anyone.
Your wife becomes aggressive to everyone, even your children. She feels that you are conspiring against her when you take her to doctor. She abuses everyone around. She also has a suspicious attitude feeling that everyone has ditched her.
Keeping these key points about her behaviour in mind in relation to your whole description, I feel that she is progressing towards developing a paranoid psychotic disorder. There is also some possibility of 'Depression with Psychotic symptoms'.
To reach to a better conclusion and guide you further, I need some more details:
1. How was her behaviour before marriage when you both were in a relationship?
2. Does she has a family history of mental illness?
3. Does she ever complains of hearing abnormal voices?
4. How has her mood been off late?
5. Has she committed self-harm more then once?
6. Any treament taken in past?
Kindly reply back with these details.
Thanks.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Ashwin Bhandari
1. How was her behavior before marriage when you both were in a relationship?
Time between courtship and marriage was not very long... That time she was best of her nature that is the reason I took stand to get married aginst wishes of parents
2. Does she has a family history of mental illness?
Elder brother was an drug edict and now is not mentally normal. Mother is also not very normal but she is shrewd/ Highly calculative/ Self Centered/ and Heartless. Father is no more but also was not normal. Has history of heavy drinker, was sacked from Police services.
3. Does she ever complains of hearing abnormal voices?
No as of Now
4. How has her mood been off late?
Very Irritative/ very High tempered/ can create issue for the smallest things. She says she wants to leave me and children and live alone although this she is saying since long with same high intensity.
5. Has she committed self-harm more then once?
No Never and this time also she took 3 sleeping Pill as that was available.
6. Any treament taken in past?
Treatment for skin Dieses which doctors say can only be restricted if she does some physical exercise/ and release her stress.
Time between courtship and marriage was not very long... That time she was best of her nature that is the reason I took stand to get married aginst wishes of parents
2. Does she has a family history of mental illness?
Elder brother was an drug edict and now is not mentally normal. Mother is also not very normal but she is shrewd/ Highly calculative/ Self Centered/ and Heartless. Father is no more but also was not normal. Has history of heavy drinker, was sacked from Police services.
3. Does she ever complains of hearing abnormal voices?
No as of Now
4. How has her mood been off late?
Very Irritative/ very High tempered/ can create issue for the smallest things. She says she wants to leave me and children and live alone although this she is saying since long with same high intensity.
5. Has she committed self-harm more then once?
No Never and this time also she took 3 sleeping Pill as that was available.
6. Any treament taken in past?
Treatment for skin Dieses which doctors say can only be restricted if she does some physical exercise/ and release her stress.
Brief Answer:
a possible psychotic spectrum disorder or personality disorder.
Detailed Answer:
Thanks for providing the details.
Sorry for the late response.
I have read the details given by you thoroughly.
I think your wife definitely has some mental health issues. The most probable diagnosis for her would be either a psychotic spectrum disorder or a personality disorder (may be paranoid).
She has had disruptive family environment. Her family members have had mental health issues. This and rest other details strongly suggests that she needs a thorough psychiatric assessment and treatment.
However, as you have mentioned that she is not willing to go to a doctor, this complicates the whole issue.
If possible, persuade her to go to a doctor just for an assessment.
Else, you can visit your nearest psychiatrist and give the details about your wife to him.
There are some treatment options for those who do not wish to take medicines at their wish:
1. Long acting depot injections of antipsychotic drugs. These are just to be given only once in a fortnight or month.
2. Antipsychotic drugs in clear solution form. These dissolve in water and are tasteless, colorless and odorless and thus are easy to give to uncooperative patients.
3. Psychological treatments depending on what therapy would best suit for her condition.
At your part, you should try to avoid any sort of arguments with her.
Take care that she does not attempts again to harm herself.
Keep away all sort of drugs/medicines from her.
Hope this helps.
Feel free to ask further.
Kindly close the discussion if you are satisfied with the response and give your valuable feedback.
Thanks.
Dr. Shubham Mehta, MD (Psychiatry).
a possible psychotic spectrum disorder or personality disorder.
Detailed Answer:
Thanks for providing the details.
Sorry for the late response.
I have read the details given by you thoroughly.
I think your wife definitely has some mental health issues. The most probable diagnosis for her would be either a psychotic spectrum disorder or a personality disorder (may be paranoid).
She has had disruptive family environment. Her family members have had mental health issues. This and rest other details strongly suggests that she needs a thorough psychiatric assessment and treatment.
However, as you have mentioned that she is not willing to go to a doctor, this complicates the whole issue.
If possible, persuade her to go to a doctor just for an assessment.
Else, you can visit your nearest psychiatrist and give the details about your wife to him.
There are some treatment options for those who do not wish to take medicines at their wish:
1. Long acting depot injections of antipsychotic drugs. These are just to be given only once in a fortnight or month.
2. Antipsychotic drugs in clear solution form. These dissolve in water and are tasteless, colorless and odorless and thus are easy to give to uncooperative patients.
3. Psychological treatments depending on what therapy would best suit for her condition.
At your part, you should try to avoid any sort of arguments with her.
Take care that she does not attempts again to harm herself.
Keep away all sort of drugs/medicines from her.
Hope this helps.
Feel free to ask further.
Kindly close the discussion if you are satisfied with the response and give your valuable feedback.
Thanks.
Dr. Shubham Mehta, MD (Psychiatry).
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
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