Suggest Treatment For Bipolar Illness And Narcissistic Personality

Posted on Thu, 30 Jan 2014

Medically reviewed by Ask A Doctor - 24x7 Medical Review Team

Thu, 30 Jan 2014 Answered on

Fri, 28 Feb 2014 Last reviewed on

Question : I have been diagonosed as bi-polar when I was 22 years old. I am on a second marriage and I have been married for 40 years. I have done many tthings to upset my wife and recently I have told her I had an affair 28 years ago. it seems like I have hurt anyone who loved and cared for me. I am currently seeing a clinical psychologist. When I look back on my life(I am 69 y;eas old), I can't believe the decisions that I have made and the damage I have done. I have a beautiful wife who has stood by me, but whom I have hurt over and over again. This last situation(the affair) has hurt her deeply and she wants me to leave her for a a six month separation. What a mess I have made of my life..I have been obsessed with women and ;have humiliated my wife in front of them. I have been involved in pornography for 17 years and that led me to sex chat lines which I did for 2 and one half years. As I mentioned, I have done one thing after another. I have been a bad example to my children which I neglected because I was too involved with women for most of my adult life. I see it now but I wonder why I couldn't see it during all these years. I have also been told that I am narssicistic personality. In other words, I am a mess. What do you suggest?

Answered by Dr. Abhishek Kapoor (27 minutes later)

Brief Answer: Family and marital therapy Detailed Answer: Hi, Welcome and thanks for posting your query to Healthcare Magic. Myself Dr Abhishek Kapoor and will try to provide you the best of information regarding your query. After getting the detail you have mentioned, I think you need family and marital therapy. I think what ever happened with you, that was related to your bipolar illness and narcissistic personality. In bipolar disorder, sexual urge usually increases, this is what had happened with you. Due to your underlying illness, you neglected your children. In that case you need help of a psychologist for family and marital therapy. It would help to maintain the relationship. Psychologist would help you to resolve the conflict between you and your family members. For bipolar illness, consult a psychiatrist about the medicine. Hope to have helped you with the above information and happy to help for the further queries and information. Regards Dr. Abhishek Kapoor Psychiatrist

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D

Follow up: Dr. Abhishek Kapoor (47 minutes later)

My wife wants to see a therapist and she feels that we should live apart for at least six months. As I mentioned, she is deeply hurt and feels that if I truly loved her, I would have never acted this way over the years. For one year, I hardly worked; while my wife was holding down two jobs and basically maintaining the household. This was the year I had the affair. We have four children. They are all adults now. Three are faring quite well, but my one son who is 37 is lost and following my life style. I feel responsible for the damage I have done to my wife and children. The problem is that this is all in the past and nothtring can be changed. These act.ivities have ceased as of November 2011, when my wife ocaught me on the sex line. This affair was brought out on December 22, of this past year. She was just beginning to heal from the sex line activities. Now she is trying to sort this out but I have hurt her beyond words. Do you feel the separation is the wise thing to do. Every time she looks at me or sees a show with any type of cheating, it brings everything to the forefront. In the meantime, she is not sleeping well at all and her digestive system is in turmoil. Of course, she does not believe I can and will change. I have broken her trust in me years ago over and over again. I would love very much to just see her happy again, hopefully with me. How do you feel about joint counseling or do you feel we should have separate doctors?

Answered by Dr. Abhishek Kapoor (21 minutes later)

Brief Answer: Joint session would help more Detailed Answer: Hi Thanks for showing response to previous answer. That would again help you in this problem. I think in your case, Joint counselling would help more. You can talk to the psychologist to whom she is consulting, but remember the basic criteria for couple therapy is- both couple should be ready for therapy. No one could force your wife for therapy. That would be her own decision. Just consult to her psychologist, if her psychologist make your wife agree for joint session, that would be rather more beneficial and fruitful for you. In case, she does not agree for joint session, then give her time she wants and wait for her response. In case you need further help, you could write back to me. Regards Dr. Abhishek Kapoor Psychiatrist

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D

Follow up: Dr. Abhishek Kapoor (27 minutes later)

HeWello: Thanks for your response. My wife does not have a therapist but is currently in search of one. I have a psychologist and have been in therapy for over a year. My wife has stood by me when I know 99 per cent of women would have left. I am hoping and praying that this can somehow work.

Answered by Dr. Abhishek Kapoor (24 minutes later)

Brief Answer: Talk to your psychologist for session Detailed Answer: Hi Thanks for showing response. That is good sign for you. The main foundation of a relationship is trust. Try to build trust with help for psychologist. Consult psychologist about the joint session. If you are in sessions for last one years, in that case your psychologist must have a good rapport with your wife also. It would give you additional benefit. I hope very thing would be fine in your case. Regards Dr. Abhishek Kapoor

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D