Brief Answer:
You will be normal soon, provide some more info

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Thanks for writing to us.

I can understand your pain and feelings of being hurt.

I read your query and can say that whatever happened is ultimately good for you in long run.

From your narration it seems that you were in a relationship were your boyfriend did not involve with you emotionally. From his awkward and vulgar demands, we can say that he was not at all a good guy for you. He might have some perversion problems. I can really understand that being a girl how you feel by such behavior of him. But time is the solution of everything in such type of cases.

We used to come across such type of cases once or twice a week. Most of them come to us after full fledged depression and with death wishes. However almost 90% of them become normal within 6 months or so by help of treatment(psychotherapy-counseling and/or medicines).

Just think that by chance if you were came to know about his nature after engagement or marriage, it would be too late. So positive point is you knew his truth before more serious relationship and broke up.

As time will go, you can accept the reality and move forward.

But during this period of sadness and hurt if you feel following,
let me know in detail.

Sad mood most of the day, doesn't like to do work or talk to people, frequent crying spells, reduce sleep, reduce appetite, desire to end life, headache, hopelessness, worthlessness.

what do you feel from above? since when? How much severity?

How is your work/study going on?

What do your family say about your relationship if they are aware?
If the are not aware, did they notice any change in your behavior?

If feasible please narrate detail about relationship: when and how was it started? Did you physically involve? IF yes, up to which extend? Family and education background of both of you.

With above details, I can judge blow to your feelings approximately and can guide you further.

Waiting for your reply,

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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Brief Answer:
Consult psychiatrist in personal soon

Detailed Answer:
Hello Dear,

Thanks for info.

Your history suggests you are likely suffering from depression.You need to consult psychiatrist for detail evaluation and treatment.

First of all I appreciate your effort to ask for help from us. If I were your treating doctor, I would like to start with Escitalopram 10 mg once in a day for 3 days and from fourth day two times a day. Also I would like to add etizolam 0.5 mg three times a day for initial relief as it is anti anxiety medicine and may help to concentrate on your study. Clonazepam 0.5 mg or Zolpidem 10 mg at night for sleep also needed.

You can also discuss with your close reliable friend about this which will help to relax your self somewhat.

Please try to maintain your breakfast, lunch and dinner schedule.Take food regularly though not feeling to eat. Take a milk of warm cup of milk before 15 minutes going to bed, it will help in good sleep.

If you wish, you can tell to your family members if you feel they can understand and will cooperate as they might aware that something has happened with you.

If you do not wish to tell them, it's ok. But you need to consult a Psychiatrist as soon as possible to relax yourself for exam.

I can understand being a lady and brake up after sexual relationship how much hurt. It will take sometime to accept that someone has cheated you.

You have two options: either you accept that something had happened which was not good for you but now you should move on.
Another option is you can take legal action against that guy if he has cheated and you feel so much distressed and disrespected. But this path is socially too much difficult. Do not think about much about future, first make yourself stable to take right decision.

In my opinion, first of all with help of psychiatrist/medicines try to perform as good as possible in next exam and then counseling sessions to treat the depression. Specific psychotherapy-Cognitive Behavior Therapy - CBT would be helpful as you are with good education.

All the best & regards,

I would be glad to answer more questions if any.

Dr.Chintan Solanki.
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki

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Brief Answer:
No it is not right to go to hotel.be firm that no sexual before marriage

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Sorry for delayed reply.

From your history I think he is using you. Please do not allow him to harass you more. Being a girl I can understand how difficult to leave someone after having serious physical relationship with him.
If he becomes angry on just denial of sex, it suggests he doesn't love you otherwise on this matter I don't think a good man become angry rather he should respect your feelings understand the situation.

If you want to still move with him forward (if you cannot leave him) I think you should ask him for marriage. Tell him specifically that we can have physical relationship only after marriage. Judge his response. If he agrees, it is good and discuss about how you can proceed for marriage. But if he doesn't agree and becomes angry, you should think over ending relationship for better future.

So my opinion is clear from psychological as well as social point of view that you should not live with those dirty feelings as well as with disrespect and humiliation. You must be firm and strong to tell him about your clear view and feelings. But if you feel personally that you don't want to lose him, it is your decision to go with him.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help you further.

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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