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Suggest Treatment For Lactose Intolerance And Nut Allergy
Question: I am concerned about my daughter in law. She is from another culture and believes in such things as 'cupping' for pain in her back (which was caused by a car accident).
We recently visited this little family and I am concerned about one grandson (who was described as an Albino by my daughter in law's mother...he has blond hair). My DIL maintains that my grandson is lactose intolerant after drinking a very large milkshake when he attended a sporting event with her brother. When we took my grandsons various events during our visit, we stopped for ice cream, milkshakes. All were eaten without incident. (We had forgotten about the "lactose intolerance". MY DIL also maintains that the same grandson is allergic to nuts, although he ate them at Halloween, again with not reaction. I am more concerned about my DIL than my grandson. I am thinking it is time for a chat with my son. My husband agrees.
We recently visited this little family and I am concerned about one grandson (who was described as an Albino by my daughter in law's mother...he has blond hair). My DIL maintains that my grandson is lactose intolerant after drinking a very large milkshake when he attended a sporting event with her brother. When we took my grandsons various events during our visit, we stopped for ice cream, milkshakes. All were eaten without incident. (We had forgotten about the "lactose intolerance". MY DIL also maintains that the same grandson is allergic to nuts, although he ate them at Halloween, again with not reaction. I am more concerned about my DIL than my grandson. I am thinking it is time for a chat with my son. My husband agrees.
Brief Answer:
Some thoughts on this situation:
Detailed Answer:
I understand that you are concerned about your daughter-in-law's ideas on health issues.
I am wondering if you can tell me what you might be hoping will result when you talk with your son and perhaps you can give that some thought. Are you hoping to change your DIL's cultural ideas of appropriate health practices? Are you hoping to protect your grandson from overly restrictive dietary restrictions? Do you think your DIL is misinformed about these practices or do you think she is attention seeking or mentally ill or something else?
I also would advise thinking on what your son's reactions might be. That might depend largely on what you are hoping to accomplish by talking with him.
Please let me know more about what you are ultimately hoping to accomplish by talking with your son about this.
And you may first want to talk with your DIL, in a curious but not confrontational way, regarding what information she is going on that her son has lactose intolerance and nut allergies. Is it possible that he was tested by an allergist? Even if he didn't react to the dairy the time he was with you (sometimes lactose intolerance can take a threshold or repeated exposure), or to peanuts (which are different from allergy to tree nuts such as almonds, walnuts, etc as peanuts are not true nuts).
I would tread carefully because you don't want to cause your son considerable stress in trying to decide who to listen to: he loves both you and his wife and so it would be easy to put him in a difficult situation with this.
You also don't want to alienate your DIL, because I imagine, as with most DILs, she does have some power in this situation. She is your grandson's mother and may decide to limit his interactions with you if she is significantly hurt by thinking that you are implying that she is a bad mother.
So please think on this and let me know your thought.
Some thoughts on this situation:
Detailed Answer:
I understand that you are concerned about your daughter-in-law's ideas on health issues.
I am wondering if you can tell me what you might be hoping will result when you talk with your son and perhaps you can give that some thought. Are you hoping to change your DIL's cultural ideas of appropriate health practices? Are you hoping to protect your grandson from overly restrictive dietary restrictions? Do you think your DIL is misinformed about these practices or do you think she is attention seeking or mentally ill or something else?
I also would advise thinking on what your son's reactions might be. That might depend largely on what you are hoping to accomplish by talking with him.
Please let me know more about what you are ultimately hoping to accomplish by talking with your son about this.
And you may first want to talk with your DIL, in a curious but not confrontational way, regarding what information she is going on that her son has lactose intolerance and nut allergies. Is it possible that he was tested by an allergist? Even if he didn't react to the dairy the time he was with you (sometimes lactose intolerance can take a threshold or repeated exposure), or to peanuts (which are different from allergy to tree nuts such as almonds, walnuts, etc as peanuts are not true nuts).
I would tread carefully because you don't want to cause your son considerable stress in trying to decide who to listen to: he loves both you and his wife and so it would be easy to put him in a difficult situation with this.
You also don't want to alienate your DIL, because I imagine, as with most DILs, she does have some power in this situation. She is your grandson's mother and may decide to limit his interactions with you if she is significantly hurt by thinking that you are implying that she is a bad mother.
So please think on this and let me know your thought.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Excellent suggestions. I talk to my daughter in law frequently since we were there to take care of her recently ..
I especially like how you emphasized non confrontational talk with her instead of adding stress to her or my son's life. I will listen to her and tell her that we forgot about the lactose intolerance. We were looking at pictures of the children recently and noticed that they had ice cream and milkshakes on our trips to the museum and hobby store.
I especially like how you emphasized non confrontational talk with her instead of adding stress to her or my son's life. I will listen to her and tell her that we forgot about the lactose intolerance. We were looking at pictures of the children recently and noticed that they had ice cream and milkshakes on our trips to the museum and hobby store.
Brief Answer:
That sounds like a plan.
Detailed Answer:
It's a tricky situation, but it sounds like you have a plan.
Being a grandmother can be difficult when you see something that doesn't seem right and are concerned. But talking with your daughter-in-law with an open mind to what her reasons might be for her actions will be a good start.
Sounds like you are a good grandmother, caring both for your DIL and taking your grandkids on excursions. Good luck to you.
That sounds like a plan.
Detailed Answer:
It's a tricky situation, but it sounds like you have a plan.
Being a grandmother can be difficult when you see something that doesn't seem right and are concerned. But talking with your daughter-in-law with an open mind to what her reasons might be for her actions will be a good start.
Sounds like you are a good grandmother, caring both for your DIL and taking your grandkids on excursions. Good luck to you.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
I continue to listen to my daughter (in law) and pray for her... And me!
All that anyone really wants us someone to listen to them.
Understanding and asking about them tells them that you care. I also found that telling my DIL about my life as a young mother draws us closer. Trying to be non judgmental ... She will figure it out. I reflect her remarks back to her occasionally and ask for clarification. She has been in such pain without complaint. I will continue to try to support her. Non judgmental! Difficult sometimes . Will turn this over to zhim and try to be more patient. I can only change MY behavior. Thanks you, Dr. D-B
Turn over to Him!
She has a new doctor to manage the pain of her herniated disc diagnosis .. A reason for excruciating pain
All that anyone really wants us someone to listen to them.
Understanding and asking about them tells them that you care. I also found that telling my DIL about my life as a young mother draws us closer. Trying to be non judgmental ... She will figure it out. I reflect her remarks back to her occasionally and ask for clarification. She has been in such pain without complaint. I will continue to try to support her. Non judgmental! Difficult sometimes . Will turn this over to zhim and try to be more patient. I can only change MY behavior. Thanks you, Dr. D-B
Turn over to Him!
She has a new doctor to manage the pain of her herniated disc diagnosis .. A reason for excruciating pain
Brief Answer:
Do you also have someone to listen to you?
Detailed Answer:
I am getting the picture that your daughter in law has been having a hard time with pain and you have been caring for her and perhaps the grandkids too. This can be a hard job and a hard position to be in. It sounds like you are very caring. I hope you also have support for yourself too.
Do you also have someone to listen to you?
Detailed Answer:
I am getting the picture that your daughter in law has been having a hard time with pain and you have been caring for her and perhaps the grandkids too. This can be a hard job and a hard position to be in. It sounds like you are very caring. I hope you also have support for yourself too.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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