Suggest Treatment For Severe Anxiety About HIV Infection After A Non-penetrative Homosexual Episode

Question : Dear Sir,
I m from XXXXXXX age 34, male, married, salaried employee in a IT company, may would like to produce my case for your diagnosis----
At the outset, I would like to mention my medical history:

1) Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in d year 2002-2003 ( after my father's death in 2001). Prescribed with 'Penidure LA  12' and excercise. Got cured within 6 months.
2) Asthama since 2003-2004. Used 'Aerocort rotahaler', Aerocort 200 Inhaler, and then Esiflo 250 recently with Nasonex nasal spray( Earlier Combinase AQ).
3) Found CSR in both eyes since the year 2010 and diagnosed with 'Steroid induced retinopathy' and hence stopped inhaler and nasal spray since last 1.5 months.

Most importantly, with all these, I have been suffering from 'Anxiety Disprder' and OCD ( as Doctor opined) since last 10-12 yrs ( approx).
It may please be noted that since my childhood days, I used to remain Anxious about my father's health and occasional family problems as in later days he used to fall ill suddenly and got hospitalized.

Another thing is that, I used to get sexually aroused by one of my elder brother since the age 14- 18yrs. Later I got little bisexual nature and encountered few casual homosexual & heterosexual relationships ( Non insertive) primarily because of this reason.

Later I got married in 2003 and get myself out of all OTHER SEXUAL FANTACIES since then. Myself and my wife tested for all pre-marital health check up before marriage. All came negative. She again tested with pre-natal health tests. All came negative. Even after and before marriage, without or even with slightest of reason I tested for HIV many times.

I used to remain anxious for any very very little exposures for 3 months and with no reasons for possibility of HIV contamination. As it is incurable and related to social stigma and may harm my wife without any fault of her. Once after every such 3 months, once I got tested negative, the anxiety used to get disappeared, though I tried to take the reference of last TEST REPORT copy for reconfirmation ( Seems very silly).
This prolonged anxiety might acted as a reason for my increased CORTISOL level.

On 17th of Nov,2015, after almost 3 yrs, I couldn't control myself from one homosexual exposure where I am asked to jerk the penis of one unknown partner what I did very carefully by touching the shaft of penis so that no cum or precum might touch my hand. After one min, he ejaculated. Though there was nothing, I washed my hand with plain water after 5 min ( Approx) that incident. While I was jerking, he impulsively very slightly inserted his two fingers of left hand into my lips. He was probably holding his penis prior to that with his left hand and thus a very little and almost dried precum might remain present in his hand. I washed my lips thereafter too.

However, I was freaking out of that incident since that consulted few online, telephonic HIV helpline, physician and psychiatrist and now waiting for the window period to over.

Currently I am taking Valz 40, Clonazepam 0.5( recently replaced by another medicine for dizziness), Storvas 10, Montair 10 and Thealife. Please suggest the following----
1) How do I get rid of such Anxiety / OCD related to this current incident?
2) Should I opt for deep meditation and ayurvedic treatment like SHIRODHARA keeping myself aloof from work for few days?
3) I have promised not to indulge in such incidents further. How do I get a peaceful life ahead.

Regards,

Thanks a lot. I want to reassure my no risk from this incident again from you. Kindly advise. And please tell how do I lower my cortisol level?

One information. I was taking Zaptra 25 along with tetrafol for last 3 yrs prior to start Valz and Clonazepam few months back? Which medicines should I continue?