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Suggest Ways To Deal With A Broken Relationship

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Posted on Thu, 1 Oct 2015
Question: I am an early retiree who is married with two children one in college and one a XXXXXXX in high school I am married to a wonderful man. he is very attentive a very good father, a good provider It seems I have no reason to be unhappy with him but I have been for nearly our entire marriage of 23 years. I know that he loves me and he wants us to be happy I feel very very selfish and ashamed but I just can't seem to Care about him in the way that I know a wife should. I don't really want to have sex with him but I do not nearly as often as he would like. I know he senses this but he is very loyal to me and our family I had an affair three years ago that lasted about two years. I was in love with the guy even though I knew he was no good and had lots of problems and is probably cheated on his wife before it's been a year that I have stayed away from him and I still can't seem to get over him what can I do to get over him and make my marriage better?my husband and my children are all that I have other than my elderly father with Alzheimer's I have no other family. I want my family to stay together
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Answered by Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe (20 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Talk to your husband

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for sharing your story.

Your attraction to this other man, despite identifying all kinds of things wrong with him, is likely rooted in the unhappiness you're experiencing in your relationship with your husband. In order to get over this new man, you should try to repair your relationship with your husband. The best way to do that is to tell your husband you're unhappy, and talk with him about ways you can improve your relationship together. Think about what's making you unhappy, and be bold and share these things with him. It sounds like he is a good man and cares a lot about you, and probably wants to improve things just as much as you do.

If you want to talk more, I'm available for a consultation:
tinyurl.com/DrSheppeAnswers
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D
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Answered by
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Dr. Alexander H. Sheppe

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2014

Answered : 2236 Questions

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Suggest Ways To Deal With A Broken Relationship

Brief Answer: Talk to your husband Detailed Answer: Thanks for sharing your story. Your attraction to this other man, despite identifying all kinds of things wrong with him, is likely rooted in the unhappiness you're experiencing in your relationship with your husband. In order to get over this new man, you should try to repair your relationship with your husband. The best way to do that is to tell your husband you're unhappy, and talk with him about ways you can improve your relationship together. Think about what's making you unhappy, and be bold and share these things with him. It sounds like he is a good man and cares a lot about you, and probably wants to improve things just as much as you do. If you want to talk more, I'm available for a consultation: tinyurl.com/DrSheppeAnswers