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Suggest Ways To Deal With Child With Inferiority Complex And Low Self-esteem
Question: I am a single mom in a long term relationship and have a 12 year old son. I am alarmed recently by his aggressive actions towards me in an inappropriately way- still trying to kiss me on the mouth, he was caught dry humping my leg the other day when he came to give me a hug. He is usually a soft spoken kid, entertains himself, polite and well mannered ( for a 12 year old) and super smart. Last night he had a meltdown because my partner made a joke about a girl in his class kicking his but in an organizational way- his friend next to him was chuckling, but my son took it so personally and felt absolutely humiliated and mad. He followed my partner around saying "that's not what you meant, say it differently!" Then started punching himself in the face for being " too stupid to not get it was just a joke" and saying he's so dumb he he's always doing something wrong. Clearly he doesn't have a high value of himself and isn't paying attention to social clues as to what's appropriate or not. Help, what do I do?
Brief Answer:
Esteem improves when you face challenges with training
Detailed Answer:
Hi
Thanks for writing to us.
From your description your son seems to suffer from low esteem.
It could be because
1. He feels he is not attended well considering that you are with your partner who is not his father.
2. Because of peer pressure, unable to face negative challenges in life
I would advice you to try these tips
1. Give him more attention than before. Take him out for lunch or vacation with you.
2. Talk to him about the hard things he is facing now and how hard your life was and the strategies you adopted in coping with those.
3. Know his favourite movie, watch it with him. Discuss about the theme and use it as a starting point to find out things he likes more and those which he fears more.
4. Talking to him repeatedly and motivating to face challenges and rewarding him if he is successful, should help him a lot.
5. Make sure you or your partner don't make fun of him. Instead praise him and encourage him.
Wishing your child good health
Regards
Dr Arun
Esteem improves when you face challenges with training
Detailed Answer:
Hi
Thanks for writing to us.
From your description your son seems to suffer from low esteem.
It could be because
1. He feels he is not attended well considering that you are with your partner who is not his father.
2. Because of peer pressure, unable to face negative challenges in life
I would advice you to try these tips
1. Give him more attention than before. Take him out for lunch or vacation with you.
2. Talk to him about the hard things he is facing now and how hard your life was and the strategies you adopted in coping with those.
3. Know his favourite movie, watch it with him. Discuss about the theme and use it as a starting point to find out things he likes more and those which he fears more.
4. Talking to him repeatedly and motivating to face challenges and rewarding him if he is successful, should help him a lot.
5. Make sure you or your partner don't make fun of him. Instead praise him and encourage him.
Wishing your child good health
Regards
Dr Arun
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Raju A.T
Answered by
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